While using a public bathroom, I heard a woman moaning in discomfort saying 'Oooh lord help me, ooooh lord.' A moment later someone else came in to use the facility, the moaning started up again, 'Ooooh help me, help me.' Our 'newest recruit' said, 'What? Are you talking to me?' The uncomfortable pooper said, 'No just leave me alone. Help me, wooo!' The recruit then said, 'Yes, don't worry, I can help you!' I magically transformed into an Olympic speed pee'er, quickly washed my hands, and got the heck out of there!
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