Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Elevator survival skills

After work we rush to the elevator as we are pretty anxious to leave for the day.  The elevator is 100% fully functional about half the time.  At first the ride down to the lobby was normal, then all of the sudden the elevator stopped.  I pressed the L button and the elevator resumed it's voyage.  Once again the elevator stopped, this time with a very noticeable jerk.  Again, I pressed the button but this time nothing happened.  We all looked at each other, one of my coworkers suggested pressing the button again.  I did, but still there was no movement.  Many times, I am my own worst enemy because my mind takes me places I really shouldn't be.  Once I realized we could potentially be stuck in the elevator I immediately thought of the movie 'Devil.'  If you have never seen this movie SPOILER ALERT! It is about 5 people stuck in an elevator and one of them is the devil. As you probably guessed, people started dying.  Iinitially they didn't know who the killer was, turns out it was the cute little old lady.  I turned around to size up who exactly I was going to have to fight to the death.  My new enemies seemed pretty nonthreatening, a bit relieved, I relaxed.  Then I saw her, standing behind a tall young woman was a little old lady!  I tensed right back up and never took my eyes off of her.  Our little devil in disguise said she was feeling claustrophobic and moved from the back corner of the elevator to front and center, standing directly beside me.  I thought to myself, 'Bring it on Nana! You don't want any of this!'  Luckily before my mind was able to really make me do something to completely embarrass myself the elevator resumed it's travel to the lobby.  I never ever took my eyes off of her and I am not proud of the fact that when we finally did make it to the lobby I made absolutely sure that I was the first one out of the elevator.  I am even less proud to share that right when the doors opened I did a quick turning side step backing my way out of her evil plan.  I am pretty sure  my swift 'cat like' movement reinforced to Nana that I was on to her dastardly shenanigans!  For the record my behavior is not proof of insanity, I prefer to classify it is finely tuned survival skills.   

Monday, March 18, 2013

Armelda M. Whitlock-Harrill

Busy busy busy
Hurry hurry hurry

Everything is perfect and beautiful, but today the bar has been raised in preparation.

The air smells sweet, the flowers have bloomed more beautifully than ever before, and the music is playing joyfully, soulfully, perfectly. 

At the same time the sun is shining bright and the stars are twinkling both with great anticipation.

Beautiful and handsome dressed in their very best, everyone excitedly waits.

The grandest and most joyful celebration in Heaven's history began as is happily welcomed home the sweet, joyful, soulful, shining, twinkling, beautiful Armelda M. Whitlock-Harrill.

I love you Grandma. 

Monday, March 11, 2013

Unfortunate nicknames

My older Brother is a retired professional basketball player. He played all over the world, and if you've ever had the pleasure of seeing him in action, you know he is blessed on top of blessed athletically.  Between seasons he would come home to spend much needed time with all of us.  He also hosted annual Pro Am (professionals and amateurs) basketball camps at Triton College. Eager and talented young hoop dreamers from all over the United States of America attended his camp. Unbeknownst to them, he invited many agents and coaches from all over the world to come sit in on his camp scouting for new talent. I am very proud of my big brother because he has literally made the dreams of many young men come true by sending them off to pay professional basketball overseas. In addition to being a skilled athlete, big brother is also 100% entrepreneur. He knows how to make a dollar, how to save a dollar, and he knew exactly which of his family and friends he could sweet talk into sitting in a hot gym for two weeks.  Watching super hot basketball men run up and down the gym all day somehow eased my pain.   Plus, it was a private camp/closed gym and I was the only female there - JACKPOT! When the men arrived they had to check in and register with me, pay any remaining camp fees, submit their basketball playing time highlights tapes/DVDs, and pick up their team assignment, number, and shirt. There were definitely men that stood out showing tremendous athletic ability, we knew for sure they would make it to camp playoffs. There were also men that stood our for other reasons. These reasons were less than brag-worthy. I recall one guy went to great lengths to warm up, he ran extra laps around the gym, did lots of push ups in the bleachers, and repeatedly slapped himself in the face. There was another guy that wore huge dark 'gas station' glasses, and would only take them off when he was on the court. Another guy looked exactly like the character 'Alice' from the old Popeye cartoons. Another guy looked like the little alien from the 80's camp movie "Meatballs" - we called him 'Meathead'.   My brother shares my sharp comedic wit, so we were able to pretty quickly assign many of the players hilarious nicknames. However, there was one guy that stood out, there was something different about him and we just couldn't figure out what it was. At the end of day one of camp, we went home and watched every single highlight tape and took notes. We don't watch the tapes in any particular order but when it was time to watch the tape Mr. Something-about-him-but-what-the-heck-is-it? submit, I don't know if it was because we were extremely tired or if it was just an epiphany, but we instantly looked at each other and knew exactly what it was. This guy was a tall guy, lean and muscular, typical for most basketball players. At the beginning of his highlights DVD there were multiple clips of him crossing over - this is when you quickly dribble the basketball in front of you, bouncing the ball from one hand to your other hand repeatedly making the letter V. It was at that moment we realized for a man of his height he had very short arms! Again, I'm not sure if it was fatigue settling in but we found this hysterical! We had to watch that part of his highlights over and over again. Laughing more and more each time. We laughed so hard and loud that everyone in the house came downstairs. Our family is full of comedians so I struggled not to pee my pants while watching two of my brothers act out various scenarios that a person with short arms would have a heightened bit of difficulty carrying out. For example, I watched them struggle to do push ups, spanking someone, making pancakes, eating a meal, and putting on socks. The cherry on the cake was watching them screaming in frustration exactly the way you would imagine a T-Rex would, during their demonstrations. For the record we are not complete jerks, and we never told 'Terry' and/or 'Short Arms McGee' his funny nicknames. However at random times during practice and games, you would typically find my brother and I giggling and/or giving each other nods and smiling if he crossed over, shot a free throw, or made layups.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Pirouetting butt slapper

I recently took a typical trip to the grocery store to pick up a few necessities.  As I made my way to the registers, I quickly scanned the open check out lines picking the best of the worst.  I stepped into line behind a dad shopping with his young daughter.  The little girl looked to be about 4 years old.  I watched his hyper little cutie get into the candy, dishevel the magazine display, and dance all around her seeming oblivious daddy.  I moved to the side of my cart to organize my groceries so I can quickly put them on the moving belt.  While I was peering down into my cart, moving things around, the precocious little sprite danced her way between her daddy my cart and slapped his butt on the way by.  He turned around, looked at me, and smiled.  Surprised, I looked at him and pointed to his now pirouetting child.  He put his hand out (for me to shake) and said, 'Hi my name is John.'  I laughed and said, 'Hi, you know I didn't touch you right?'  I guess none of that registered with him because he the next thing he said was, 'Do you live around here?'  I just stared at him wild eyed.  Thank goodness the person in front of him walked away, and I said, 'Look, it's your turn!'  John turned to focus his attention on the cashier.  A moment later the little girl looked at me and gave me a little mischievous smile.  I looked back at her and stuck my tongue out at her, she giggled and resumed her dance routine.