Thursday, June 7, 2012

Fool-ash goulash

My buddy Johnny knows exactly what to say and do to push my buttons.  Very often we enjoy giving each other a hard time, luckily both of us know how to take humorous criticism just as easily as we know how to dish-it-out.  He knows I adore my cell phone, the fact that the screen on my phone is larger than the cell phone of most, and the color is quite vivid - it is just an all around great phone!  I never miss an opportunity to remind him that my phone is brand new and ahead of its time and he may as well use two cans connected with a string.  Johnny invited me to his house for dinner, his family was there including his Fiance Monica, and our mutual friend Lexi.  His Mom makes delicious chicken soup, we all were happy to see that is what she made.  We all sat at the table enjoying our meal.  Johnny asked if he could look at my phone, without hesitation I handed him my prized possession.  He briefly looked at it then said, 'Would you like to see my new phone?  I just picked it up today.'  Immediately, I knew I was in trouble.  Beaming with pride and a big smile on his face, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his new phone.  I have to admit, it was beautiful!  The screen was larger than my screen, the color was brilliant and seemed to make my color look abysmal at best.  The internet was super fast and it was all around a superior phone.  I discreetly reached out, picked up my phone, and tried to put it back into my pocket.  Johnny immediately stopped me and said, 'Oh no! Don't put your phone away now! Leave it out!'  Everyone at the table began laughing, there was nothing I could do other than maintain my composure and hope my ego didn't get too hurt while Johnny proceeded to belittle my poor phone.  He held them up side by side pointing out all the ways his phone trumped my phone.  I really had to focus to keep my 'I don't care' poker-face.  Johnny even began singing a song about the two phones while making them do a little dance together.  Then, to my delight, the heavens opened, and Johnny accidentally dropped his awesome new cell phone directly into his large bowl of steaming hot chicken soup!  PLUNK!  Everyone at the table let out a collective gasp!  I quickly picked up my phone, taking it out of harms brothy way.  Johnny frantically tried to remove his phone from the moat of chicken soup.  I began laughing uncontrollably.  It was my pleasure to watch him utter profanities as he fumbled with the phone and accidentally drop it right back into the bowl.  Needless to say the phone turned off and would not turn back on.  I looked at him and said, 'Would you like me to give you a ride to Verizon tomorrow?'  He glared at me.  Lexi asked him if he had insurance and a warranty on his phone.  I began asking him what package he had, was it the Pollo Loco Package? The Souper Soup Special?  The 4G Poultry?  Everyone laughed, luckily he has a great sense of humor and laughed as well.  I just couldn't resist.  The rest of the evening, about every 45 minutes or so I kept asking him, 'Hey, can I borrow your phone? OOOH, that's right.'  I also occasionally sang, 'Chicken chicken cluck cluck, chicken chicken cluck cluck.'  I also repeatedly looked at him and said, 'Can you hear me now? BAGAWK!'  My impression of a chicken is not top notch but definitely served it's purpose!

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