Public transportation trauma

I hope you enjoy this sample of my stand up comedy on my very own YouTube channel!

https://youtu.be/UreAsws1VfA

Please subscribe and share this with everyone you know.

Have a blessed day!

Do you need a little giggle therapy? Doctor Kimolie is here!

I am a firm believer in the therapeutic healing power of laughter and proudly carry the title of Christian Comedian.  

I am a stand up comedian, my material is clean, highly relatable, and suitable for all audiences, ages and ethnicities -- but most importantly, it makes you giggle!  

One of my main goals is to prove and reinforce the fact that 'Church folks' also enjoy relaxing and having a great time, as much as anyone else. 

Stand up comedy is my strength, I've also been blessed with a gift for writing, event coordination and hosting, talent coordination, as well as production.  

I feel most alive connecting with people, especially by inspiring, motivating, and touching the hearts of others --young and old alike.  

I aim to offer a progressive and eye-opening approach to the realities of our society.

  I've been described as charismatic, fresh, and in-tune with the public-at-large, as well as with the individual wants and woes of our world.  

Best of all ~ I am ready and available for your upcoming events!!!

Contact me via email at SoSayethKimolie@yahoo.com

This Friday!!!! I'm performing ~ come laugh with us!

Giggle Therapy ~ Don't miss it!

FRIDAY!    FRIDAY!!    FRIDAY!!!

Everyone is welcome to join us in a fun night of fellowship and laughter.  It has been said there is healing power in laughter ~ if this saying is true there will definitely be some extra healing going on! 

Our musical acts are spectacular and vibrant, they are ready to move you ~ body and soul!

Christian Comedian Kimberly D. Garrett brings you the funny through her highly relatable, suitable for all ages and audiences, life experience material. 

Bring your friends, bring your family, and tell everyone you know! You definitely don't want to miss this fun event.

Admission is only $3 

Concessions will be available for purchase

Monster Jam at Allstate Arena

Allstate Arena, Feb 7-9, 2014

Approximately 12 feet tall and about 12 feet wide, monster trucks are custom-designed machines that sit atop 66-inch-tall tires and weigh a minimum of 10,000 pounds. Built for short, high-powered bursts of speed, monster trucks generate 1,500 to 2,000 horsepower and are capable of speeds of up to 100 miles per hour. Monster trucks can fly up to 125 to 130 feet (a distance greater than 14 cars side by side) and up to 35 feet in the air. Monster Jam, sanctioned by the United States Hot Rod Association, is the most popular monster truck tour, performing to over 4 million fans annually at the most prestigious arenas and stadiums throughout the world. Monster Jam shows consist of three main fan-favorite elements - the pit party, racing and freestyle.

Save 30% on all performances using code MOM. Get Your Tickets Today- http://www.ticketmaster.com

Discount does not apply to Front Row VIP or Gold Circle seats. No double discounts. Service charges, handling, and facility fees may apply. All tickets $2 more day of show.

Disney magic = memories to last a lifetime

Disney On Ice Celebrates 100 Years of Magic!

This show is 100% amazing!  My family and I loved every single minute of it!  We were impressed by the great attention to detail and the grace and beauty of the performers.  They were very interactive with the crowd.  This show is enjoyable for both adults and kids, I found myself clapping and cheering just as happily as the children.  This show was a nice walk down memory lane, many times I felt just like a kid again.  I very strongly recommend you go see the Disney magic first hand, I guarantee it will be a choice you will not regret.  Please do not pass on this moment to make memories that will surely last a lifetime.  Many many years from now your kids will easily recall the day you took them to see the beautiful wonderful magic that only Disney can bring.  

 

Join the celebration as 65 of Disney's unforgettable characters from 18 beloved stories come to life in Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic!  You'll be captivated by the one and only Mickey Mouse, the irresistible Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio and many Disney Princesses.  Be thrilled by exciting moments from The Lion King; Mulan; and Disney/Pixar’s Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Toy Story films; in a skating spectacular filled with magical Disney moments you'll remember forever as Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic!

With FREE parking and tickets starting at $13, there’s no better value in Chicagoland.  Playing United Center Sept. 11-15.  Get your tickets today!

My readers can Save 40% on weekday performances (Mon-Thurs. and Friday matinees, excluding holidays) and 20% on weekend shows.  Use promo code MOM3 to receive savings.

Disney Trivia Challenge

How well do YOU know Disney?

Copy the link below and paste into a new browser to complete the Disney Trivia Challenge

https://docs.google.com/file/d/1JLz1E8g_wSOgcm44iFIP0hZh1CCH_hXmPQl7mEVxDegxSbLnqgrpFKpT8SlP/edit?usp=sharing

Then join ME celebrating 65 of Disney's unforgettable characters from 18 beloved stories come to life in Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic!  You'll be captivated by the one and only Mickey Mouse, the irresistible Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio and many Disney Princesses.  Be thrilled by exciting moments from The Lion King; Mulan; and Disney/Pixar’s Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Toy Story films; in a skating spectacular filled with magical Disney moments you'll remember forever as Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic!

With FREE parking and tickets starting at $13, there’s no better value in Chicagoland.  Playing United Center Sept. 11-15.  Get your tickets today!

My readers can Save 40% on weekday performances (Mon-Thurs. and Friday matinees, excluding holidays) and 20% on weekend shows.  Use promo code MOM3 to receive savings.

 

Disney On Ice Celebrates 100 Years of Magic!

Join the celebration as 65 of Disney's unforgettable characters from 18 beloved stories come to life in Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic!  You'll be captivated by the one and only Mickey Mouse, the irresistible Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio and many Disney Princesses.  Be thrilled by exciting moments from The Lion King; Mulan; and Disney/Pixar’s Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Toy Story films; in a skating spectacular filled with magical Disney moments you'll remember forever as Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic!

With FREE parking and tickets starting at $13, there’s no better value in Chicagoland.  Playing United Center Sept. 11-15.  Get your tickets today!

My readers can Save 40% on weekday performances (Mon-Thurs. and Friday matinees, excluding holidays) and 20% on weekend shows.  Use promo code MOM3 to receive savings.

GO BLOW YOURSELF

This work is dedicated to my best friend Melani Granda and her mother Cynthia Terzick two wonderfully loving women.

“GO BLOW YOURSELF”
By Kimberly D. Garrett
Second City Training Center Chicago 
04/23/2013 (Version #4)

CAST
Rakell – 30's
Erik – 30's
Waitress – 20's

Rakell & Erik are set up on a blind date, &
meet for the first time at local sports bar.

 

(Erik approaches, Rakell is already seated)

ERIK

Rakell?

RAKELL

Yes, hi, Erik?

ERIK

Yep, it's nice to meet you.

RAKELL

Thank you, it's nice to meet you too. Have a seat.

(The waitress approaches)

WAITRESS

Hello there, my name is Jasmine can I start you two off with some drinks?

ERIK

Yeah, cool,  let me get a Bacardi 151

WAITRESS

Well, we usually use that as a base.  What would you like that with?

ERIK

Ice, oh and make it a double.

WAITRESS

Ooook

RAKELL

I'd like a Margarita please.

WAITRESS

No problem, I'll be right back with your drinks.

ERIK

You don't drink a lot do you?

RAKELL

No I typically drink socially.

ERIK

OK cool. So what do you do?

RAKELL

I am a Polysomnographer.

ERIK

Say what girl? What is that?

RAKELL

I read brain waves, heart rhythms, and respiratory patterns looking for abnormalities.

ERIK

Dang girl, you must be smart huh?

RAKELL

I like to think so, I really enjoy it. So how do you like working at Costco with my BFF Sadie?

ERIK

It's cool, it's cool, I've worked there for 10 years. Sadie is cool as hell, we just be cracking jokes all day.

RAKELL

Oh yeah, I love her. 10 years, wow, are you like the store manager?

(Waitress returns with drink order,
 & not impressed when overhears court
situation while putting drinks on table)

ERIK

Nah, I'm a cashier, but right now I'm suspend... I'm on a leave of absence because I have a few court cases going on and I have to miss a lot of days.

WAITRESS

(Sympathetically puts hand on Rakell's shoulder)

Let me know if you need anything.

RAKELL

(Looks up at waitress smiles and nods)
What are your pending court cases? Is it like speeding or parking tickets, or some type of traffic violation?

ERIK

Nah, one is for drug possession, but I think Imma be good because I didn't even have any drugs. They raided my boy's house and he is the one that had the drugs. I was just sitting there. And my other case is for carrying a concealed weapon but I'm fighting that one too man, because, I even told, that cop I had a knife.

RAKELL

(Turns to call waitress)

Jasmine! Well, I hope everything works out in your favor.

(Waitress approaches)

Waitress

Hi, are you OK? I mean what can I get for you?  The check maybe?

 

RAKELL

Yes! Please, I need a shot.

ERIK

Hey, let me get another Bacardi 151 double.

WAITRESS

(Pauses & looks at Erik as if
he is crazy, then walks away)

Sure thing, I'll be right back.

ERIK

Are you sure you don't drink a lot?

RAKELL

Yes, I'm sure. Is there a problem?

ERIK

No, no, it's cool. Do you live around here?

RAKELL

Yes my apartment is only about 20 minutes away from here.

ERIK

Do you have roommates or kids?
 

RAKELL 

I live alone, and no kids, not yet anyway. I'd like to get married first. I'd like to look into buying a house in a few years. How about you, any roommates or kids?

ERIK

I live with my Moms and she cooks and cleans and everything, so it's like I have a roommate and a maid – it's cool as hell! As far as the shorties, none that I'm claimin' – you know what I'm saying. So how many guys have you slept with?

  

RAKELL

Excuse me!?

 

(Waitress returns with drink order, puts
drinks on table, hears question, accidentally
intentionally spills his drink on him)  

ERIK

HEY! Watch it, ugh, this ain't cool!

WAITRESS

Woopsie, I'm sorry about that. Let me go get something to clean that up with.

(Happily walks away)

ERIK

Be cool girl, I'm just trying to get to know you.                                                                                               RAKELL

(Begins fidgeting with her cell phone)

Well there are some things you just don't ask a lady. Especially not on the first date.

ERIK

My bad girl. I see you got your phone out, let me give you my number. I'm on minutes so you can call me weekdays after 9PM and all day on weekends and holidays. Oh, & if you call and a female answers hang up. That's my ex, we aint together anymore but we just kick it a lot.

RAKELL

(Turns to call waitress)

Wow.    Jasm...

WAITRESS

(Is right there before Rakell can say her full name)

Here is your check.

RAKELL

(Relieved)
Thank you.   Well its getting late, and I have to get up pretty early in the morning so I better call it a night.

ERIK

OK cool, you want me to go with you?

RAKELL

NO! It's just that I'm tired and I have work.

ERIK

It's cool. Hey, I need you to do me a favor before we go.

RAKELL

(annoyed)
What is it?

ERIK

The judge had them put this thing in my car, it aint no big deal, and you have to blow in it to start it, and I need you to just come on out and blow into it real quick for me.

RAKELL

(upset)
Are you kidding me? Is that why you were all weird about my drinking?

ERIK

Cool out girl, don't be like that. It's the least you could do. Hey, if you aint going to blow me one way, you can at least blow me in another way.

RAKELL

(furious)
Go blow yourself!

(Quickly leaves the table)

(Waitress returns to start clearing table)

ERIK

(Leans in seductively)
Hey what's up girl? Do you drink a lot?

(BLACKOUT)