Monday, January 14, 2013

Red Bull vs Corporate America

At one point in my life I worked for a fortune 500 company.  Corporate America can be a bit restricting, while working in corporate America, quiet and productive is the safest road to travel.  I recall one particular morning my coworker Luciana was very sluggish.  A night of partying left her exhausted to the point where she almost army crawled in to work.  She said she desperately needed a quick pick me up.  We suggested a nice cup of coffee, Luciana declined our offer stating she didn't like the taste.  I suggested she go to the Cafe and look for something with caffeine.  Luciana agreed, left, and eventually returned holding a tall can of Red Bull.  She slowly walked back to her desk, slumped down into her chair, and began sipping her tall can of 'quick pick me up.'  The rest of us paid little notice to her and went on about our business.  Moments later we heard an impromptu drum solo.  Surprised, we looked at each other, I leaned in her direction and said, 'Hey, Drumline!" she was so into her drumming she almost didn't hear me.  Luciana looked up at me, smiled, and said, 'What uuup!?'  I said, 'Are you OK lady?'  She quickly grabbed the empty can, held it up and asked, 'Dude! Have you ever had this?'  I laughed and said, 'Yes.'   She said, 'I never had it before, oh my gosh, it is SO GOOD!'  I giggled and said, 'Yeah, it is! OK easy killer, try to keep it to a low roar over here.'  She jumped up out of her chair, gave each of us enthusiastic high fives and skipped off to go on break.  We laughed and resumed our work.  We probably should have known this was only the beginning when we saw her skipping back down the hallway in the other direction waving to us as she skipped by.  She returned with the same heightened level of energy.  Luciana was talking more than she usually does and at a much faster pace.  We did our best to ignore her antics hoping she would calm down and quietly work, however that was not on her list of things to do.  At one point she took off her shoes and gave herself a pedicure.  Next Luciana spent a good amount of time spinning around and around in her desk chair.  Finally lunch time came, we encouraged her to eat a hearty lunch so the food can soak up whatever Red Bull was left in her tummy.  She agreed, stood up,  and actually did a cartwheel out of her cubicle on her way out to lunch.  We laughed hysterically, we had no idea cartwheels were corporate America approved.  When Luciana returned holding yet another Red Bull we looked at each other, feeling both entertained and defeated at the same time.  I got up to go to the printer and saw her cubicle covered with about 100 yellow post-its.  It was at that moment I knew Luciana didn't need to have Red Bull at work ever again.  A supervisor finally walked by our area, the unsuspecting supervisor couldn't help but see the bright yellow cubicle.  She came over and talked to Luciana about the importance of avoiding wasting office supplies.  It took every ounce of composure we had to keep from laughing.  I guess the Red Bull marketers knew they couldn't list everything in the commercials.  'Red Bull gives you wings, awesome skipping skills, high five power, olympic chair spins, cartwheels ...' - the commercial would never end! 

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